Removing the Muzzle

I wasn’t going to start a blog. I want to be a novelist—not a blogger—but my higher power sent a woman to interview me.

While at the gym last week, she approached me and launched into rapid-fire questions. Her focus was clear: What is your job title? What are you doing with your life?

After being married to an interrogator (yeah, I picked a winner), I know exactly when someone is extracting information. POS literally taught me about eye movements, coercion, and information-gathering tactics. I recognized what she was doing immediately. The pace was intentional—meant to catch me off guard.

Mostly, she responded with a polite, noncommittal “interesting” when I told her about my plans to become a novelist and content creator. She did have the decency to identify herself as a content creator, even if she wasn’t entirely honest about why she was asking. Still, I don’t harbor any ill will toward her.

During the conversation, she asked if I had a blog.

My immediate internal reaction was recoil—pure disdain. That’s my gut response to the word blog.

And that bothered me.

I want to be a writer. So why does blogging repulse me?

After days of sitting with that question, the answer became uncomfortable—but obvious. My dislike of blogging isn’t mine. It’s leftover baggage from POS. He used to rail against bloggers, insisting no one cared about their opinions. He knew I wanted to write. Still, he called them idiots. Useless. Irrelevant.

After years of listening to his devilish tongue, that toxic thinking still tries to surface.

It’s time to let go of that weight.

I am not becoming a blogger.I am removing the muzzle that once constrained me.